i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
