I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You were trust falling into bushes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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