but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
