It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
