She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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