You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no, he came in my armpit
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
