oh god the rape fog is back!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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