you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
