if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
