if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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