i will never coherently bang her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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