It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
