I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize