He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
