sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
