either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
