What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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