I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
