i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
