Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Small penises have feelings too.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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