I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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