I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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