Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize