"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
