her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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