So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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