no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize