Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
