I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
