I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
time to smoke my breakfast
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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