Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
