maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Randomize
