I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
