i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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