she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize