32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
