Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
