this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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