Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
