I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
the raccoons are back...
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