Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
