nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
