After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
