I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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