3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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