Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
