go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
