That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
