Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize