She's JV to your varsity
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
