your thong is hanging out like whoa
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
