screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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