I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
