All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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