ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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