You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
