that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
