Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He passed out mid-signature
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
